Will

"We have nothing of our own but our will.

It is the only thing which God has so placed in our own power

that we can make an offering of it to Him"

The Cure D'Ars

I read this some time ago and at first I did not understand. Some time later an occurrence happened in my life that shed some light to this thought:

There was a time in my life where an acquaintance started to become a friend, and my feelings for that male friend started to intensify, as we were spending time together and sharing our thoughts on life and the world in general. Those feelings gained control over my mind in such a way, that I could say it was like falling in love, the thoughts about this friend occupied all the time my head and it came to pass that they also started to have an effect on my will. I was one night sitting at the sofa, praying fervently to God about it, asking for help not to act upon these feelings and to remain faithful to my husband. As fervent as it was the prayer, and sincere in my admittance of powerlessness, as other times in my life had been, it came then too an answer. The phone rang, and a woman called Faith asked for an uneventful matter. I hang up the phone shortly and came back to my sofa, when suddenly I realized that the answer was exactly there, it has been given to me in such a phone call, it was FAITH. I had to remain having faith in God and in his deliverance.

Nonetheless, later on, I did act upon my feelings, and though the faithfulness in my marriage remained intact as far as actions go, I cannot say so in matters of thinking and feeling, and just by the Grace of God my actions did not end up in adultery.

Finally in my life I was able to understand King David in his turmoils and suffering, where previously I had disdain, having a hard time believing God could be friend to someone that was in so much of a mess, I had now symphathy and understanding, and my heart went out to his life events and his repentances.

So in the subject of Faith, and Faithfulness, how we keep intact the contract with our spouses in a way that is faithful in its ample sense, a faithfulness that comes from the willing-heart and not from the head in its dry law-giving? How we keep loving God and his commandments out of love and not out of duty, duty which at the end produces emprisonment of the souls, phariseism and dryness of hearts? How we can make an offering of our will to God in love?

Wedding of our cousins this last summer.