My family an I have been having some breaking down moments, our computer broke down, by a car running over it! and then our car broke down...so we have been uncommunicated even more from our regular way of life.

It is though a blessing to listen during those moments to what the silence or angels may be telling us, and we have embraced wholeheartedly our new farming life, under the tutellage of our kind Amish neighbors.

We sprayed manure homeophatically, and planted an acre of vegetables, our family garden with corn, potatoes, swiss chard, lettuces, onions, cabagges, beans, cucumbers and finally peppers and tomato plants are also in; the rest we filled with beets to start selling to our local organic cooperative.

It has been very rewarding to wait on the weather and on the business of family and neighbors around, and our nights have been filled with deep sleep as we come to our rooms tired and happy.

The wood cookstove also has brought many delights, as cakes and pies start coming out of it and tasting yummy, Even my husband who knows for years about disastrous culinary productions is amazed that now things can taste so much better. It must be the slow cooking time and the fire.....

Ascension has come and almost gone, we have been singing songs together and one of them has been ringing in my ears continuously during these days, it has African words and they speak about the victory of Good over Evil. It is great to have two groups of people singing at each other, one group does the chorus and the other the verse:

O Nkosi Jesu
Mdale we zinto Zonke
Won Kob Ukufa
Won Kob U Satane

Amen, Amen,
Amen, Amen,
Amen Amen,
Amen Alleluia

Wishing you a very good Pentecost day, as we remember how the Knights of the Grail also came together in such special occasion, to renew their vows and promise anew their resolutions.

Terra Fidei

Our farm has another name, Terra Fidei, which means land of the faith and is the inward name of our home. It wants to represent this striving to cultivate the faith, as we cultivate the land, because is an act of free will -an act nor a noun-, that which faith encompasses. What is to continue becoming perfect in the eyes of God? To follow his will at every moment. This is again an active form, never reaching the goal yet always moving towards it.

Land of the Faith,
the land symbolizes
the landscape of Faith in our hearts,
and it is a reminder
of the need to cultivate the Faith,
to be stewardships
of the Faith in this sense,
to make it flourish in our lives.

The main reason to bring the special needs children to our farm was to try to bring my husband’s job to the fore, he has been teaching in the special ed. department of public school for the last years, and I thought that instead of bringing my own ideas to this new project, I would build up my husband’s skills and talents in the farm. Alas, I do not know if it will work, since he has his own different ideas about the farm as well!!!!

I have been in a continual struggle with this relationship, since the beginning when we met:

“I was talking to God, while listening to my usual Friday night classical music concert in Mallorca, Spain, and finally admitted to God that I had learnt the lesson He was teaching me for the last couple of years. I really did not need any boyfriend to be happy, or anybody to love or be loved by, BUT, I said to God, if you want me to share my life with someone else, just let me know. Well, two seats by my side, there was this guy, who was trying to catch my attention during the whole concert, he finally did start a conversation with me and has been my husband since one week after that day. At first I did not understand, why God sent him to me? 15 years older, looking rather shabby, bold, and from a far-away country….as years went by, some of the reasons were understood, he grew long beautiful blond hair right away, which was a nice surprise!"

Anyway, what I wanted to mean is that many times the relationships that are more difficult are the closer ones, and if you had read my diaries you would see that my two longings in life were God and children. So when God decided to stop giving us children my heart started to ache, how am I suppose to continue in this covenant of marriage? Am I now to turn around and go to find Vocations? As my service to others increased also my disservice to my husband augmented, I could see that also in many others, where the most servicial and kind hearted persons, lived a rather strenuous life at home or were alone. Why is this so? Teachers and ministers will tell you how difficult it is to give in both places, and the tension many times breaks the relationships in the inner courtyard.

It seems so much easy to love the ones that are farther away than your own husband, at least for some of us, and I could see why God had chosen marriage for my life, to stretch my heart in love for God as I struggle to love my husband. Maybe for others God has chosen the ministry life, or any other task, but at the end the ultimate result should be an increase of Love for God. Saint Therese “saw” Christ in every human being, married women are to “see” Christ in their husbands at every moment. Husbands are built up by our admiration of their qualities, they strive to the best we see in them, how we can maintain this admiration? Last week an Amish farmer tilled the soil in our land, and kept my children in the cart while working, it all seemed so right, except it was not my husband tilling the soil! I think when husbands work at home, especially in the land, wifes are more easily prompted to be grateful for their work, to admire them. On the other hand I could remind myself of the great job that my husband is doing by providing for the family, and facing the sometimes cold-cruel world of society for long hours a day.

This Easter time is eye opening for me, as to discern how am I receiving the destiny that God has chosen, am I freely saying yes, am I freely saying no, or am I just unconscious of it, resenting my life?

Today’s Gospel talks about Jesus being the Shepherd of Souls, and I am reminded of the Psalm that has turned into a famous song:

Shepherd me Oh God,

Beyond my wants,

Beyond my fears

From death unto life.

The Lord is my shepherd

I shall not be in want

He lead me to green pastures,

He restores my soul.

May we have the grace to wrestle pride and despair away from our lives continually, and come to rest on Christ and the destiny that comes towards us at every moment.

Story for Easter: The Selfish Giant, Oscar Wilde

Songs for Easter: Love is come again

Projects

We have had a lot of accomplished projects in the last few weeks.

Last year by this time we were publishing my husband's novel: The Missing Spoke, which goes very weel with the theme of Easter and the redemption not from suffering but redemption to suffering, from a christian view. This year we are in the last steps of proof reading a new book, another auto biography, this time of a pastor that lived in the midwest for a while but now is residing in Sweden: A sword in the Wilderness. This book goes well with the theme of Pentecost, as is a witness of the strength of the Holy Spirit through the lives of men.



While we are also establishing the rhythms in our new farm, getting to know our neighbors and the land, we are also looking ahead for the next publishing book, if you have an interesting biography, or you ever wanted to publish your memoires, give us a script, perhaps yours can be the next year publishing project!

The Farm is buzzing with life, we have horses and cows in the pasture fields and the gardens are ready to be tilled. Soon we will open the planting season with potatoes on 24th April, and we are digging strawberry plants for the new beds. Come pick up some if you want to!

Helpmaid

We are finally moving, officially on Saturday. Meanwhile there has been a lot of things coming up, and one of them is about the purpose of the farm. We are leaning towards naming the farm after the archangel Raphael, to ask for his protection and healing medecine. We are envisioning the land that God is giving us to be a place where souls can be strenghtened in God, where families can be lead to Jesus Christ, where the Holy Spirit is directing.

The old barn will house a cow, steer, sheep and chickens in the winter. the newer barn used to be raising 3.000 organic chicken, we want to stay away from such big farm production, yet we do not know what to do with the building.

For a while in our lifes as married people, I tried working in different things, sometimes out of the home, but mostly in the home. Now that this project of the farm  is coming up, I am again asking, what is the purpose of the marriage, and how can we be working together instead of separate and in a sanctifying way? For me the response has come suddenly, unexpected, and has caught me by surprise: Instead of trying to do what i think is best, I need to look up to my husband's strenghts and build him up, be his helpmaid.

Inside of the old barn.

So, he has been working with special needs children in the public school system, and he has a talent for it, he can relate to them in  special way, non threatening at all, that makes the relationship grow and become a healing balm. Yet in the schools children are bound to four walls most of the time, do not have enough time outdoors doing meaningful work, they are continually entertained and have a void of purpose. In the farm, my husband could give them physical work, they could see they are needed, and the farm work could help strengthen their souls, in rhythmic discipline. We are looking into giving this opportunity for once a week during the school year, and also for week-long stays at the farm during summer months.

Prayers and songs before meals will help establish a rhythm and a reminder throughout the day of our dependance on God.

Almost all my farmer friends say that is too difficult to live off of the farm, and that a second income is needed, and just a 10% of the big farms are making money. Yet, as a newcomer of stewarding the land I am full of hope, I trust that God is giving this opportunity to many families like us, to work and pray together, to raise families in His name, to be a witness to the world, and to help as many as we can to come closer to the Faith. Our priest sent us a link yesterday about the TLM and the movement around it, we are privileged that God put us in a place where the devotion for God and His Son is stronger than the currents of the world. may I be a helpmaid for His Plans.

http://wdtprs.com/blog/2012/03/new-voris-video-addresses-where-the-action-is-in-catholic-communities/#comments

Plain walls

We were overwhelmed at the task of packing last week, but now that is started it seems easier. The only thing we could do in the face of the overwhelming tasks, was to go ahead with one room, one step at a time, and not to see the whole picture. It worked well.

Now it is similiar with the state of our souls: we are following the study on Counsels of Perfection, http://counselsofperfection.blogspot.com/, and in the chapter of  removing venial sins I see a parallel with the packing of our house, it is good to know what is to come one step ahead, for planning, but not to see the whole scope, because it could be daunting. The reason for to see the next step is to prepare the tools for the battle, it is different to go to the fields with a mounted horse or with bow and arrows, in one you go straight to the enemy, in the other you stay at a distance. Some sins are better defeated by "grabbing the bull by the horns", by having the sword of the Sacraments frequently, others are better defeated by staying at a distance of temptation and sending the arrows of Truth.

We have carried with us a book on the Amish for 10 years, and its pictures have become familiar to us. On entering our new to become house for the first time, we felt at ease, at home, and after looking into many other farms thereafter we kept the same feeling about our first showing. Friends, banks and family have doubted our choice, and sometimes in the back of my mind I also hear the same doubts, yet it is in the plain walls, in the rough dry walls, in the plain floor and empty floorplan that my heart  finds refuge.

I opened the Amish book again today, to see the pictures with my children, and there it was, one house with the same appearance, a house that calls for daily work, a house that calls for holiness. I find myself in clutter and too many things around the house and on my walls, that instead of helping in the job of homemaking, they hinder work and make me lazy, complacent.

May the new house keep its new stewards in peace and work, in rough, plain, and lovely walls.

Move to the farm

We are probably moving to our farm on March, for this reason I will concentrate in packing, moving and settling in for the next weeks.

I hope meanwhile you have a good start of spring, Blessings!

Rule of Life

I have been looking into the rules of life for the lay people in the Benedictine Order and the Carmelite Order. Even though both seem very appropiate for family life concerning the path of sanctification I choose the motto " Love as God loves you" of the Carmelites.

The priest in our local parish, suggested to do some list of our main goals, our core beliefs, the tenets with which we strive to surround our life, and to find a spiritual director to held us accountable during this upcoming season of Lent. In regards of that I compiled some of my aspirations, now I have to find the spiritual director. I am praying to God that he will lead us to our new homestead, and that he will also lead us to Him.

Rule of Life February 9^th 2012

To observe the relationship with God as a supremacy in my life and let the Love of the Father pour out to my relationships, starting with my husband, relatives, friends and family. Eucharist and Confession attended regularly, if possible daily.

To follow Jesus in his teachings,  studying of the scriptures and other materials. Bible study every Sunday, study group on relationships Tuesdays.

To allow the Holy Spirit to work in my life. Observe prayers at night ( family rosary, individual meditation, examination of conscience, summary of day events) 30 minutes, at wake time (devotion to God, silence) 30 minutes, at noon time, ( prayers, hymns, recollection) 30 minutes.

Some indications of the Carmelite order Rule of Life

5. The love of God, poured into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, (5) is the fire that Christ came to bring to the earth and wishes to be blazing. (6) To enter into and remain in that love given by the Father is the aim of the Christian pilgrimage as told in the Gospel, that authentic rule of Christian life. The law of the Gospel is that we love God, with all our strength, (7) and our neighbor as Christ loved us. (8)

6. In this context an authentic Christian life implies a mysticism based on the scriptural understanding of that life, especially as understood by Saint Paul. (9) At its most profound level this life consists in a personal love of God,:

Christ is its first and absolutely fundamental mainstay and, in him, the Father in the Holy Spirit. This commitment is the arrival and departure point for the life of the Christian who wishes to conform to Christ, especially in our days that are not always open to the values of the spirit and of the Gospel. On the other hand, not understanding the Christian life as an ever more intimate union with the Lord would be to lose its true meaning.

7. By baptism we become part of the huge assembly of brethren that is the Church; that is, we are united to the Mystical Body of Christ as real members. (10) All are called to form one fraternal community; (11) this is possible if, although by nature weak and limited because of their wretchedness, they allow themselves to be guided by divine grace and they do not reject God and their brethren through sinfulness.

8. This universal calling becomes a reality in the baptized who are united through faith and the Eucharist. (12) The basic mystery of the Church is the fact that it is essentially a community of brethren who, in a relationship of mutual love, discover that they are members of the one family. (13) This unity, formed and animated by Christ and his Holy Spirit, (14) demands a continual and loving active cooperation, love being the fundamental law Christ has given to the members of his Mystical Body.

9. Human weakness hinders the practice of fraternal love, but that renunciation and interior detachment required by Christ in the Sermon on the Mount help Christians to reach the goal of total availability, (15) and to overcome the three major obstacles identified by Saint John as the sensual body, the lustful eye and pride in possessions. (16)

13. There cannot be conflict between temporal well-being and the realization of God's Kingdom, since both the material and spiritual orders derive from God; but the danger of conflict can arise from the bad use we make of our knowledge of the temporal sphere. The Christian should use the findings of science to bring about a spiritual and material betterment of human life. (23)

18. What the Tertiary expresses by one's Profession is none other than an intensified renewal of one's baptismal promise to love God above all else and to renounce Satan with all his works and pomps; the difference in this act of love lies in the means the Tertiary uses to reach this goal. The fundamental Christian law that pledges a person to love God and all others with all one's strength, demands of everyone the constant affirmation of the primacy of God, (29) the rejection of any possibility of serving two masters (30) and the love of others above and beyond all selfishness (31).

19. The chastity and obedience of the Tertiary, which also recall the deep sense of poverty, have meaning in the areas of economic well-being, of sexuality, and the imperative not to serve false gods: (32) Christian holiness is love of God and others without any consideration of self. By virtue of the vow of obedience Tertiaries must obey the superiors of the Order and the Group's Spiritual Assistant in all that they are asked to do, according to the Rule, for their own spiritual life. They are bound to observe the vow of chastity according to the duties of their state in life.

21. The entire Carmelite family, in its task of living out its consecration to Christ, (34) seeks to live in the presence of the living and true God who, in the person of Christ, lives in our midst; (35) it is a family that seeks divine intimacy.

25. Lay Carmelites, imbued with the spirit of the Order, try to live its charism in a silent listening to the Word, making their whole life a prayer by allowing themselves to be caught up by the Spirit for the wonderful works that God accomplishes and which require their commitment and worthwhile contribution.

a) The Sacraments, especially the Eucharist, are the life of Christ spread among believers, enabling them to be united to him. (40) To take part in the Sacrifice of the Altar, (41) daily if possible, provides that necessary lifeline with Christ.

b) The Liturgy of the Hours, (42) at least morning Lauds, Vespers and Compline, are the ecclesial expression of their meetings with God. Different places and circumstances may point to the necessity of other forms of liturgical prayer.

26. The spiritual life is not devoted to the liturgy only. Although called to prayer in common, the Christian is still bound to enter into his or her room and pray to the Father in secret; (43) indeed, according to the teaching of Christ, (44) supported by the Apostle, (45) the Christian is bound to pray unceasingly. (46)

34. They will see and be able to show how temporal activity and material occupations are a share in the creative and transforming work of the Father, (56) and that it is a true service to others, which helps bring about human progress. (57)