Victor Frankl

My mother is studying logotherapy, a science after Victor Frankl, who studied much and went through a lot in his life. His first book as a biography is very explanatory, as it speaks of his days in the concentration camp and the outline of his mission in life. I could not put it down until I finished it.

Some of his statements at the end of the book were striking to me, as things that have been spoken in many other books and especially relevant:

¨If man would do things in order to make his conscience quiet, he would turn into a pharisee, and in that instant, he would not be anymore a moral person. I think that even the saints try to serve exclusively God, forgetting the acts that bring them to their sanctity. If they would center themselves in the acts that bring them to sanctity they would end up with a perfectionist personality, but not saints.¨


This is something I face everyday, as I struggle to do what is right out of my heart and not out of duty...just recently my husband needed to leave at 3am in the morning to the airport. I struggled thinking if I should go with him and then back home....a part of me wanted to do that, out of love, yet when I looked better I realized it was out of my conscience more than out of love...so then, was it better not to go? the Bible tells us that acts of charity without love are nothing....worth than nothing!. I gave my burden up to God, and he gave an answer, as he does so often..my brother offered a ride to my husband the day prior to the departure. Meanwhile I am asking God to show me the way of Love.

¨To this characteristic of man I would call self-trascendence of the existence. To be a man means to go towards something or somebody different from himself, either to develop a noble trait, or to get a meaning in life, or to find another human being. The more man forgets about himself , to give himself up to a cause or to a loved one, more human he becomes and his qualities become more perfected. Indeed, the more man tries to gain his self realization the more it fades away, because the real self realization is only the profound effect of the completion of the meaning of life. In other words, self realization is not gained like a goal, but as a rightful fruit of the self-trascendence.¨

How much better we can talk to non-believers about doing the will of God and not our own? How much better to talk about dying to self and gaining life?

¨Love is the only way to arrive a the deepest part of the personality of a man. Nobody is able to know the essence of another human being if he does not love him. For the spiritual act of love we are able to contemplate the traits and characters of our loved one; even to contemplate the potentiality, of that which is still dormant and is to be awaken. Furthermore, it is through love, that the one who loves gives the possibility to the loved one to actualize his potentialities, bring them to life. The one who loves see further and urges the other to bring to life his dormant personal capacities.¨

I have been looked with those kind of eyes, it is so enlivening to have somebody who trusts so much in you, your better you. And I have also looked with those eyes, we all do when we fall in love, for example....yet how to do that continuously...Somebody that continuously looked this way was of course Jesus, but also many of the saints and contemporaries of us, they are persons you notice you long to be with them, they are so peaceful, inwardly peaceful and their gaze is so accepting.They themselves may be very strict and disciplined with their life, yet they embrace the other with such compassion.

One of the exercises that my mother has to do in the studies is about non judgmental attention, to embark in relationships with people in a very non judgmental thought process. That is very difficult, we are built to rapidly bring qualities and judgement to our thoughts, big/little, dark/light, etc...to bring the sense observation to our organized boxes of concepts, yet Goethean Observation, which is one way to practice this void of judgement, is the first step in retraining our minds. Goethean Observation builds the skills in observing the phenomena without making judgements, thus we could meet a person with a particular appearance without making inward judgements about them, or a person which we would normally dislike, without disliking them. This brings a very peaceful way of interacting. I personally have seen in my mom a change in her pattern of thoughts, it is so freeing to be with her without feeling the numbing presence of her judgmental thoughts upon me ( we all do that and is especially intense in closer relationships), I am just asking to be able to do the same with every body I encounter, to be free of my own judgements and to react accordingly.  For the people who have faith, this is mainly following the principle of seeing Christ in every human being.

Choice

We had left somehow this blog in order to perform an experiment in technology, in withdrawing from technology, and I wanted to say some things regarding the experiment for us.

We had arrived to Barcelona city three weeks ago, to visit family, and we were coming from rural, non technologic American Christian society...the cultural shock was expected.

The things that we were more obviously shocked were the polluted air, (children had a hard time breathing the first days, with so many people smoking in the sidewalks), the noise ( we could not hear each other talking in the street), the amount of people, (it takes effort not to bump with people continuously), the dress and bombarding media which seemed to come out of a XX rated movie. We had been sensitized back to a modest way of dressings and here in the city the fashions dictate such an immodest apparel, well, the women go with tights and short jackets in the street, nothing else! but for them this is the normal thing, the regular outfit, they have been sensitized ( or better said desensitized) to an opposite order of things. Instead of concealing your forms, they emphasize them appealing to the sexual appetite. The advertisements full blown in the streets are also as direct and crude.

The bad thing for me is that people are not aware of this, we are not aware how the environment indoctrinates our thinking, I am sure if I had to stay in the city, i would fall into the same desensitizing program, unless I was in daily contact with people that thought differently. And that is exactly the clue, I asked around, where are the christian people here?

 I found the Opus Day people, very nice group of people following the doctrines of the church and God, they believe in a total immersion in the world, working in the world but not of it...how do they do it? Constant teaching as their founder Josep Maria Escriva never tired of saying, a constant teaching of the scriptures, daily Mass, weekly seminars or meetings,  monthly conferences, etc...

I asked also about a more poorer version of Christians and we found  group that decided 25 years ago to share their belongings and money, they are still there, in the city, living in the same apartment complex and tending each one to its job out in the city with the love of God, how do they do it? daily meditations together on the scriptures, day and night, and singing, weekly gathering with a meal.

Now I am up to learn about the Order of the Brotherhood of the Lamb, yet I am pretty sure the way they face the world in the city is too with daily food, daily Mass, daily reinforcement or teachings agains the teachings of the world, unless you are indoctrinated in God´s ways, you are being indoctrinated in the world´s ways.

Here in the city my mom has a computer at home, I have been using it as needed, and one day my daughter told me: ¨mom, i just had a dream, somebody was telling me in the dream how you cannot do both things at a time, either you are cooking, grading our homework and making family life, or you are in the computer.¨

I think the dream was right, I cannot do both, so that is why we will keep our computer time when we go to the library, and we will have a computer free home.

 On the other hand, I think like people could be brought out of the worldly ways with this media, the world´s own media, just like in the movie Matrix, the real people sought to go to the artificial world to bring out a choice, to bring the people that were called out, just the same way we decided we would use the computer to say there is another way of living, to say there is a choice.

Child Training

Somebody asked us to compile some thoughts on child training. My husband and I laughed at the prospect: How can We give any kind of counsel in that matter, if we are so in need of advice ourselves? Yet when we compared with other families we could see we had indeed walk some part of the path. The next week God showered us with more resources and books on child training, and we decided to make an attempt to compile what we are learning.

Lord, give me grace when children’s hands

Are busy with manifold demands

Give me gentle, smiling eyes;

Keep my lips from sharp replies.

Lord, give me patience; quell my sigh

When one again begins to cry

Though I am falling far behind

Give me grace to still be kind

Lord, give a smile and self-command

When still a child can’t understand.

Give a love that’s true and strong;

Drop into my heart a song.

May weary days and children’s noise

Not blind my eyes to fleeting joys.

So tonight at day’s decline,

May lovely memories brightly shine.

1.BORN OF THE SPIRIT

Before a man is born of the Spirit, he goes through the world asking this question:” What can I get out of this or that situation?”. After a man is born of the Spirit the question is thus changed:”What is the will of God, what God wants me to do in this or that situation.”

2. MARRIAGE

The ideal marriage is where two lives blend according to God’s order with the husband as the head and the wife at his side in love. Establishing a Christian home is the foundations of Child Training:

Ephesians 5:25 “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her”

Colossians 3:18 “Wives, be subject to your husbands, as it is written in the Lord”

1Peter 3:7 “Husbands, in the same way, show consideration for your wives in your life together paying honor  to the woman as the weaker sex since they too are also heirs of gracious gift of life-so that nothing may hinder your prayers”

Failures in marriage can be due to:

 a-Marriage is not begun in the Lord

Other reasons for marriage apart from God’s  will be an obstacle and should be overcome ASAP. These could be reasons from the flesh, greed or intellectual. ( The more learned the more the danger of being deceived)

b-Husband does not take his rightful place of leadership

Just like the example of Jacob and Esau, some men do not take heed of the command of leadership in their homes and let themselves be unthroned of the crown that is of birthright.

c-Wife is not submissive to her husband

If we know God, we know he is sovereign to all, also over our husband. Any sign of rebelliousness to our husband will be imitated by the children as rebellion to authority. Some signs of rebelliousness are very subtle, like criticizing our husband in a self-pitying manner, a wife should share her troubles with others only with her husband’s blessings in a way that is honoring to God and husband both, if not she may be “showing her slip” in a metaphorical way.

d- Both or one partner is selfish

It is in giving that we find JOY:

J: Jesus first

O: Others after

Y: You last

e-Both or one grew up in unhappy homes

Destructive patterns are set in us, yet in God we are also rescued from the bondage of the past.

f-Third person interferes

The best friend for a wife is rightfully her husband, when a third person comes into place, man or woman, the natural order of things is changed with many dangers creeping into the relationship. Our friends should encourage the bond that we have with our spouses and not hinder it.

3.CHILD TRAINING

a- Rhythm

When the home is built in rhythmical patterns, the children rest in comfort, they know what comes next as a matter of fact. (“ we clean the dishes after eating, etc…) it is no conducive to rhythm to go out too much, to be away from a home centered hearth. As parents, being contented in the sameness passing of days and seasons is a show of strength. A feeble family may need  more entertainment in their lives at the cost of peaceful home-centered life.

Psalm 23 “ The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quite waters, He restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for you are with me; your rod and staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”

b-Attentiveness

When the parent is present, and the thoughts are clear, this permeates the environment. It is no good to be day-dreaming, reading your own book, computer, TV, radio, phone,  etc….Attentiveness to the task at hand is one of the main vehicles of Love. Singing Hymns and prayer songs helps in bringing your own mind to be renewed. Silence is also on the pedestal of Love, by being silent we learn to listen to the Spirit instead of being busybodies letting our tongues ride wild.

Romans 12:2 “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind”

1Timothy 5:13 “And besides they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house, and not only idle but also gossips and busybodies, saying things which they ought not”

c-Obedience

A child needs to be taught to surrender his own will for the sake of the whole. This is taught by example ( how we ourselves are willing to surrender) and by reproof. Sometimes the discipline action can start as soon as 6 to 10 months, and it may involve different  things. The spanking is used for small children, a paddle with the hand can be useful; for  older a small stick, and for even older the spanking is turned into an emotional  one, by making the child aware of his fault and making him feel ashamed of it. Sometimes we read or make up a story that hits home, or perhaps we make them put their selves into the other to see the fault. As the child turns to be a grown up, the discipline usually takes the shape of the Spirit.

The discipline should be done without anger and in a state of sorrow but in willfull obedience to God’s directives:

Prov 12:1 “ Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge. But he who hates correction is stupid”

Prov 22:15 “Foolishness is bound in the heart of the child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him”

Prov 13:24 He that spares his rod hates his son; but he that loves him is diligent to discipline him”

Prov 23:13, 14 “Withhold not correction form the child, for if you beat him with the rod, he shall not die. You shall beat him with the rod, and shall deliver his soul from hell”

Prov 19:25 “ The rod and reproof give wisdom: But a child left to himself brings his mother to shame”

Prov 19:18 “Chasten your son while there is hope, and set not your heart on his destruction”

Prov 29:17 “Correct your son, and he shall give you rest; yes he shall give delight unto your soul”

Hebrews 12:6,7 “For whom the Lord loves he chastens, and scourges every son whom he receives. If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons”

Col 3:21 “Fathers, provoke not your children, lest they be discouraged”

e-Work

Unless we design our work to be child-included, the training will be unsuccessful at the end. Children thrive when they feel they are needed for the surviving of the family, just like we thrive when we know God needs us to fulfill tasks he has layered upon us. “Idle hands are the devil’s tools”

When we joyfully work overcoming our comfort and fleshly nature, we learn and teach to live for God instead of for ourselves. Singing as we work, sometimes for hours at a time is very appropriate for our minds, as well as sharing with others the load of work by keeping company and godly conversation. Children that grow up in setting as this, learn early on, in a very practical manner, that the best way of life is to live for others.

Galatians 5:16-18 “ So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature.They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law”

Resources:

Bible

The Fruits of Her hands (Wilson)

Child Training (Stoll)

A labor of Love

I just read "The restoration of Christian Culture" by John Senior, a radical book from the point of view of contemporary thought, yet a very down to earth and practical book from the point of view of reality.

This is of course my opinion, based on my own expreince of the matter, but anyone who wishes to experience this could do so taking the same steps, and thus it becomes more than just a personal opinion but a matter of scientific approach.

The book states repeated times the exhortation to "smash the television set", and for that also the radio, and media in general and extensively, even computers, etc... being these technological advantages impediment for the healthy living of a christian culture.

Last week while pondering in these things, a thought suddenly came, in the way you usually have when two concepts otherwise separated link and you say !Aha!, as in solving a riddle. Well the two concepts also streamed forward and backward with a series of other thoughts, is just difficult to explain, yet it became clearer to me that technology can cripple human beings in one generation. Because I am immersed in modern society, I was not aware so strongly about the implications, yet in seeing the Amish culture and my own side by side, the gap between them helped in seeing the danger we are faced with, the danger we are actually so involved with.

Some of my friends have difficulty relating with other human beings in a healthy way, they learn early on to expect a fast response from the environment to satisfy their needs, which in turn are selfish, and seek mainly pleasure. I am also in this difficulty, and to try to get away from it I decided to do some things as my own experiment:

1st- to withdraw from any technological communication as much as I am able to do.(no TV, no radio, no computer, no telephone except necessary)
2nd- to stay confined at a walking or horse riding distance from home.( even if still my husband owns a car)
3rd-to minimize my expenses to the basics, counting my goal in America to be about $700 a month, including mortgatge.
4th-to spend at least half of the day involved in physical and meaningful tasks, and at least one hour to prayer or contemplation.

I thank all of you that have been a company in these writings and wish me the best in this experiment. I'll come back when I have some results to share.

The time is at hand!

We found in an essay the description of the same impulse in Schiller that we are trying to define in the earlier posts:

“Two impulses are present in human nature that hinder it from achieving perfection when they develop in a one-sided way: the sensual and the rational. If the sensual impulse has the upper hand, a person is conquered by instincts and passions. In the activity illumined by consciousness, a power then mingles, by which this is darkened. Human action becomes the consequence of an inner compulsion. If the rational impulse dominates, a person attempts to suppress instincts and passions, and to commit to an abstract necessity, which is not sustained by any inner warmth. Human beings are subject to compulsion in both cases: in the one their sensuality enslaves the spiritual in them, and in the other, the spiritual enslaves their sensuality. Neither condition gives full freedom to people in the kernel of their being, which lies in the midst between the sensual and the spiritual. Freedom is to be realized only through a harmony of both impulses. Sensuality should not be suppressed but ennobled; instincts and passions should permeate themselves with spirituality, so that they themselves can bring to realization the spiritual power which has entered into them. And reason should take hold of the human soul in such a way that it deprives what is merely instinctive and passionate of its power, so that human beings can fulfill what reason indicates, as if out of natural instinct, and with the strength that passion gives. “When we are passionately attached to someone who is worthy of our contempt, we painfully feel the compulsion of nature. If we have a hostile relationship to someone who compels our respect we painfully feel the compulsion of reason. But when our affection is involved and our respect is won, then both the compulsion of feeling and the compulsion of reason disappear, and we begin to love.” A person who reveals the spiritual quality of reason in sensuality, and the elemental power of passion in his reason, would be a free personality. It is upon the development of free personalities that Schiller wishes to base a harmonious common life in human society.”

I understand this also to be needed for the building of any true community.

In my own experience I can tell of many times where I  lean too heavily on one of the sides, and yet as I grow older instead of the swinging motion being balanced I found myself swinging in more and more extremes, as if when the reason tries too forcefully to suppress passion, then passion gets the upper hand violently and without warning. Or vice-versa, when my passions are at command, all of a sudden an abrupt  action determined by reason breaks the air in coldness. I am reminded of the youthful teens, when emotions would create a mood swing too, here is an old time poem that depicts one of the ends of the pendulum:

Nublada, perdida, llorada sed,

No embebe ya el alma que hastia se vuelve red,

Y a ratos olvida el vacio y cree ser algo. Ser que?

Tumbada al sol de su frio

no le queda cordura ni amigo

para volverse pez.

Clouded, lost, mourned thirst,

The soul does not soak anymore, and tiresome becomes net,

And at times she forgets the emptiness and believes to be something. To be what?

Laying under the sun of its coldness

She has no more sanity nor friends

To become fish again.

I could also see these patterns in other areas, how many times in trying to do what I ought to do, my energies tire, after 6 months or so I am exhausted and I have to discontinue my work  because reason is not strong enough to live! Yet in the other extreme, when I follow life’s wind and guideposts in naïve trust, the impulses do not take wings, their foundation is so sandy!

Most of all I sense it in relationships, when out of duty someone is taking an interest in us, or we do in turn to them, the air fills with tepid smells, whereas when the interest is based on attraction laws the smell is pungy. It is only when the interest we take in one another is pure and keen, then the fragrant aroma of roses is sensed, and we can fill our cups respectively.

I am lately involved in the Amish community nearby, and I have to bow my head to some of their members, they display this middle point in their lives very much, and it is so refreshing to encounter some more people living by this practical application of Christianity.

In fact many of their “traditions” coincide completely with spiritual indications:

-plain color dress, (peach-yellow-green-blue-violet) I would even claim that their way of clothing is more free than our following fads, trends and desires, as long  as freedom is understood as is stated in the above paragraphs.

-Working the land manually, small acreage and small diverse husbandry. (when things get bigger they change in nature, usually to the detriment of  the work of Christ forces )

-No ownership of cars, TV, radios, phones, etc…. to encourage face to face interactions with neighbors. They can use these devices but not own them, just as one plain father said to his son: do you own the car or does it own you?

-Church services in homes, to encourage ensouled buildings.

-Singing  for more than one hour at a time, exercising the harmonization of the individual to the community, the larynx slowly adapting to the tune that is found reverberating in the cupola of sound formed.

-Academic school work starting after 7 years old.

I also found that many other of their customs to be completely in line with my thoughts since I was small:

-Non-resistance. (Love changes the world, war does not)

-Non-conformity. (voting and other political aspects of life are for other people, especially if you want to follow the spiritual path)

-Non-missionaries. (I always thought it strange to raise money for other countries, or to go somewhere else to be a witness, there is so much to be done at home! One Amish comments on Kissinger’ aptitudes in being a peacemaker around the world, but his home was in divorce, if we are not able to be peacemakers at home, the fruits outside the home are not lasting. (“The Amish in their own words” compiled  by Brad Igou)

Well,  I have been then stretched between the two sides, and the more I walk the more it stretches, I am wondering if the thread that unites them will at some point break, and I will get stuck in one or the other side, or this is just part of the journey.

In the Lord of the Rings allegory, again we found the same characters described above, I am at awe of what Frodo can do, I myself cannot manage an inch of his path, lest I become Saruman or stay in the Shire awaiting the end of the world. I pray for some of his purity in heart, so we can all, taking turns at a time, bring the Ring to the Fire.

We were so fortunate to host a Community Camp at our farm the last week, the priest  held the children and us parents with love and caring ears, and we were able to make some new friends and see that we are much in the same boat;  I am still like Ariadne’s thread, unraveling what it all meant to us and what it may mean for the future. When I go to the garden to weed memories of the camp flow in my eyes, like when we were spraying the silica early in the morning, or when we were gathered around the fire for the special story. One of the songs we learnt is very fun to sing with the children, as the capital letters are sung louder that the rest  and in a three group round, a secret is unveiled.

Hey ho cried the merry DWARFS (pause, pause)

It’s off to the woods we (pause) ARE

We’d like to stay but time is (pause, pause) SHORT

–THE TIME IS  AT HAND!-

We love whom we serve

“We love whom we serve”, is a quote that I found recently again in the book "Fascinating Womanhood". There is a group of mothers that are reading through it and we get together every other Monday to discuss the chapters. Some ideas may be extreme and hard to swallow in our times, but the principles work nonetheless, in learning to love our husbands, and learning to serve in love, not in duty.

I have also been trying to simplify our lives, and in some aspects, simplifying has resulted also in having the homemaking tasks done in the old-fashioned way, from one point of view it would seem that all our moderns gizmos, washing machines, refrigerators, etc….would work for us in making  things easier and simplifying our lives, but I am finding out that it is working just the contrary for us, in the practical homemaking life, it is more simple to do washing by hand.

How can this be so? I am not sure yet, but when we wash our clothes by hand, besides all the other things  that we are doing differently, the focus changes from dutiful task to lovely service. It is in the actual rubbing of the dress, the actual rinsing of the shirt, the hanging with pins in a beautiful manner, that I get to do my job lovingly and not as a chore to be finished as soon as possible.

I think the same law applies to our relationships, when we get attention to them, when we really listen to what the other is saying, when we take time to spend with others, without rushing through it, things disclose in a different manner.

Last Monday I asked my young Amish neighbor what were her plans for the week, she responded that she never knows what may come up! Is true for me too, when in between my planning and organizing I leave space for the unknown to happen, things come to us that are prompted by the Spirit, if only I could notice them all the time, I would be a better servant….

P.S.
Visit here for ideas for Saint John's eve, a traditional cake with pinenuts and candy-dried fruit, a bonfire to throw old stuff and make ammends to throw away old habits, a special eve to gather herbs, specially medicinal herbs for the whole year.
http://ca.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nit_de_Sant_Joan

My family an I have been having some breaking down moments, our computer broke down, by a car running over it! and then our car broke down...so we have been uncommunicated even more from our regular way of life.

It is though a blessing to listen during those moments to what the silence or angels may be telling us, and we have embraced wholeheartedly our new farming life, under the tutellage of our kind Amish neighbors.

We sprayed manure homeophatically, and planted an acre of vegetables, our family garden with corn, potatoes, swiss chard, lettuces, onions, cabagges, beans, cucumbers and finally peppers and tomato plants are also in; the rest we filled with beets to start selling to our local organic cooperative.

It has been very rewarding to wait on the weather and on the business of family and neighbors around, and our nights have been filled with deep sleep as we come to our rooms tired and happy.

The wood cookstove also has brought many delights, as cakes and pies start coming out of it and tasting yummy, Even my husband who knows for years about disastrous culinary productions is amazed that now things can taste so much better. It must be the slow cooking time and the fire.....

Ascension has come and almost gone, we have been singing songs together and one of them has been ringing in my ears continuously during these days, it has African words and they speak about the victory of Good over Evil. It is great to have two groups of people singing at each other, one group does the chorus and the other the verse:

O Nkosi Jesu
Mdale we zinto Zonke
Won Kob Ukufa
Won Kob U Satane

Amen, Amen,
Amen, Amen,
Amen Amen,
Amen Alleluia

Wishing you a very good Pentecost day, as we remember how the Knights of the Grail also came together in such special occasion, to renew their vows and promise anew their resolutions.