A labor of Love

I just read "The restoration of Christian Culture" by John Senior, a radical book from the point of view of contemporary thought, yet a very down to earth and practical book from the point of view of reality.

This is of course my opinion, based on my own expreince of the matter, but anyone who wishes to experience this could do so taking the same steps, and thus it becomes more than just a personal opinion but a matter of scientific approach.

The book states repeated times the exhortation to "smash the television set", and for that also the radio, and media in general and extensively, even computers, etc... being these technological advantages impediment for the healthy living of a christian culture.

Last week while pondering in these things, a thought suddenly came, in the way you usually have when two concepts otherwise separated link and you say !Aha!, as in solving a riddle. Well the two concepts also streamed forward and backward with a series of other thoughts, is just difficult to explain, yet it became clearer to me that technology can cripple human beings in one generation. Because I am immersed in modern society, I was not aware so strongly about the implications, yet in seeing the Amish culture and my own side by side, the gap between them helped in seeing the danger we are faced with, the danger we are actually so involved with.

Some of my friends have difficulty relating with other human beings in a healthy way, they learn early on to expect a fast response from the environment to satisfy their needs, which in turn are selfish, and seek mainly pleasure. I am also in this difficulty, and to try to get away from it I decided to do some things as my own experiment:

1st- to withdraw from any technological communication as much as I am able to do.(no TV, no radio, no computer, no telephone except necessary)
2nd- to stay confined at a walking or horse riding distance from home.( even if still my husband owns a car)
3rd-to minimize my expenses to the basics, counting my goal in America to be about $700 a month, including mortgatge.
4th-to spend at least half of the day involved in physical and meaningful tasks, and at least one hour to prayer or contemplation.

I thank all of you that have been a company in these writings and wish me the best in this experiment. I'll come back when I have some results to share.

The time is at hand!

We found in an essay the description of the same impulse in Schiller that we are trying to define in the earlier posts:

“Two impulses are present in human nature that hinder it from achieving perfection when they develop in a one-sided way: the sensual and the rational. If the sensual impulse has the upper hand, a person is conquered by instincts and passions. In the activity illumined by consciousness, a power then mingles, by which this is darkened. Human action becomes the consequence of an inner compulsion. If the rational impulse dominates, a person attempts to suppress instincts and passions, and to commit to an abstract necessity, which is not sustained by any inner warmth. Human beings are subject to compulsion in both cases: in the one their sensuality enslaves the spiritual in them, and in the other, the spiritual enslaves their sensuality. Neither condition gives full freedom to people in the kernel of their being, which lies in the midst between the sensual and the spiritual. Freedom is to be realized only through a harmony of both impulses. Sensuality should not be suppressed but ennobled; instincts and passions should permeate themselves with spirituality, so that they themselves can bring to realization the spiritual power which has entered into them. And reason should take hold of the human soul in such a way that it deprives what is merely instinctive and passionate of its power, so that human beings can fulfill what reason indicates, as if out of natural instinct, and with the strength that passion gives. “When we are passionately attached to someone who is worthy of our contempt, we painfully feel the compulsion of nature. If we have a hostile relationship to someone who compels our respect we painfully feel the compulsion of reason. But when our affection is involved and our respect is won, then both the compulsion of feeling and the compulsion of reason disappear, and we begin to love.” A person who reveals the spiritual quality of reason in sensuality, and the elemental power of passion in his reason, would be a free personality. It is upon the development of free personalities that Schiller wishes to base a harmonious common life in human society.”

I understand this also to be needed for the building of any true community.

In my own experience I can tell of many times where I  lean too heavily on one of the sides, and yet as I grow older instead of the swinging motion being balanced I found myself swinging in more and more extremes, as if when the reason tries too forcefully to suppress passion, then passion gets the upper hand violently and without warning. Or vice-versa, when my passions are at command, all of a sudden an abrupt  action determined by reason breaks the air in coldness. I am reminded of the youthful teens, when emotions would create a mood swing too, here is an old time poem that depicts one of the ends of the pendulum:

Nublada, perdida, llorada sed,

No embebe ya el alma que hastia se vuelve red,

Y a ratos olvida el vacio y cree ser algo. Ser que?

Tumbada al sol de su frio

no le queda cordura ni amigo

para volverse pez.

Clouded, lost, mourned thirst,

The soul does not soak anymore, and tiresome becomes net,

And at times she forgets the emptiness and believes to be something. To be what?

Laying under the sun of its coldness

She has no more sanity nor friends

To become fish again.

I could also see these patterns in other areas, how many times in trying to do what I ought to do, my energies tire, after 6 months or so I am exhausted and I have to discontinue my work  because reason is not strong enough to live! Yet in the other extreme, when I follow life’s wind and guideposts in naïve trust, the impulses do not take wings, their foundation is so sandy!

Most of all I sense it in relationships, when out of duty someone is taking an interest in us, or we do in turn to them, the air fills with tepid smells, whereas when the interest is based on attraction laws the smell is pungy. It is only when the interest we take in one another is pure and keen, then the fragrant aroma of roses is sensed, and we can fill our cups respectively.

I am lately involved in the Amish community nearby, and I have to bow my head to some of their members, they display this middle point in their lives very much, and it is so refreshing to encounter some more people living by this practical application of Christianity.

In fact many of their “traditions” coincide completely with spiritual indications:

-plain color dress, (peach-yellow-green-blue-violet) I would even claim that their way of clothing is more free than our following fads, trends and desires, as long  as freedom is understood as is stated in the above paragraphs.

-Working the land manually, small acreage and small diverse husbandry. (when things get bigger they change in nature, usually to the detriment of  the work of Christ forces )

-No ownership of cars, TV, radios, phones, etc…. to encourage face to face interactions with neighbors. They can use these devices but not own them, just as one plain father said to his son: do you own the car or does it own you?

-Church services in homes, to encourage ensouled buildings.

-Singing  for more than one hour at a time, exercising the harmonization of the individual to the community, the larynx slowly adapting to the tune that is found reverberating in the cupola of sound formed.

-Academic school work starting after 7 years old.

I also found that many other of their customs to be completely in line with my thoughts since I was small:

-Non-resistance. (Love changes the world, war does not)

-Non-conformity. (voting and other political aspects of life are for other people, especially if you want to follow the spiritual path)

-Non-missionaries. (I always thought it strange to raise money for other countries, or to go somewhere else to be a witness, there is so much to be done at home! One Amish comments on Kissinger’ aptitudes in being a peacemaker around the world, but his home was in divorce, if we are not able to be peacemakers at home, the fruits outside the home are not lasting. (“The Amish in their own words” compiled  by Brad Igou)

Well,  I have been then stretched between the two sides, and the more I walk the more it stretches, I am wondering if the thread that unites them will at some point break, and I will get stuck in one or the other side, or this is just part of the journey.

In the Lord of the Rings allegory, again we found the same characters described above, I am at awe of what Frodo can do, I myself cannot manage an inch of his path, lest I become Saruman or stay in the Shire awaiting the end of the world. I pray for some of his purity in heart, so we can all, taking turns at a time, bring the Ring to the Fire.

We were so fortunate to host a Community Camp at our farm the last week, the priest  held the children and us parents with love and caring ears, and we were able to make some new friends and see that we are much in the same boat;  I am still like Ariadne’s thread, unraveling what it all meant to us and what it may mean for the future. When I go to the garden to weed memories of the camp flow in my eyes, like when we were spraying the silica early in the morning, or when we were gathered around the fire for the special story. One of the songs we learnt is very fun to sing with the children, as the capital letters are sung louder that the rest  and in a three group round, a secret is unveiled.

Hey ho cried the merry DWARFS (pause, pause)

It’s off to the woods we (pause) ARE

We’d like to stay but time is (pause, pause) SHORT

–THE TIME IS  AT HAND!-

We love whom we serve

“We love whom we serve”, is a quote that I found recently again in the book "Fascinating Womanhood". There is a group of mothers that are reading through it and we get together every other Monday to discuss the chapters. Some ideas may be extreme and hard to swallow in our times, but the principles work nonetheless, in learning to love our husbands, and learning to serve in love, not in duty.

I have also been trying to simplify our lives, and in some aspects, simplifying has resulted also in having the homemaking tasks done in the old-fashioned way, from one point of view it would seem that all our moderns gizmos, washing machines, refrigerators, etc….would work for us in making  things easier and simplifying our lives, but I am finding out that it is working just the contrary for us, in the practical homemaking life, it is more simple to do washing by hand.

How can this be so? I am not sure yet, but when we wash our clothes by hand, besides all the other things  that we are doing differently, the focus changes from dutiful task to lovely service. It is in the actual rubbing of the dress, the actual rinsing of the shirt, the hanging with pins in a beautiful manner, that I get to do my job lovingly and not as a chore to be finished as soon as possible.

I think the same law applies to our relationships, when we get attention to them, when we really listen to what the other is saying, when we take time to spend with others, without rushing through it, things disclose in a different manner.

Last Monday I asked my young Amish neighbor what were her plans for the week, she responded that she never knows what may come up! Is true for me too, when in between my planning and organizing I leave space for the unknown to happen, things come to us that are prompted by the Spirit, if only I could notice them all the time, I would be a better servant….

P.S.
Visit here for ideas for Saint John's eve, a traditional cake with pinenuts and candy-dried fruit, a bonfire to throw old stuff and make ammends to throw away old habits, a special eve to gather herbs, specially medicinal herbs for the whole year.
http://ca.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nit_de_Sant_Joan

My family an I have been having some breaking down moments, our computer broke down, by a car running over it! and then our car broke down...so we have been uncommunicated even more from our regular way of life.

It is though a blessing to listen during those moments to what the silence or angels may be telling us, and we have embraced wholeheartedly our new farming life, under the tutellage of our kind Amish neighbors.

We sprayed manure homeophatically, and planted an acre of vegetables, our family garden with corn, potatoes, swiss chard, lettuces, onions, cabagges, beans, cucumbers and finally peppers and tomato plants are also in; the rest we filled with beets to start selling to our local organic cooperative.

It has been very rewarding to wait on the weather and on the business of family and neighbors around, and our nights have been filled with deep sleep as we come to our rooms tired and happy.

The wood cookstove also has brought many delights, as cakes and pies start coming out of it and tasting yummy, Even my husband who knows for years about disastrous culinary productions is amazed that now things can taste so much better. It must be the slow cooking time and the fire.....

Ascension has come and almost gone, we have been singing songs together and one of them has been ringing in my ears continuously during these days, it has African words and they speak about the victory of Good over Evil. It is great to have two groups of people singing at each other, one group does the chorus and the other the verse:

O Nkosi Jesu
Mdale we zinto Zonke
Won Kob Ukufa
Won Kob U Satane

Amen, Amen,
Amen, Amen,
Amen Amen,
Amen Alleluia

Wishing you a very good Pentecost day, as we remember how the Knights of the Grail also came together in such special occasion, to renew their vows and promise anew their resolutions.

Terra Fidei

Our farm has another name, Terra Fidei, which means land of the faith and is the inward name of our home. It wants to represent this striving to cultivate the faith, as we cultivate the land, because is an act of free will -an act nor a noun-, that which faith encompasses. What is to continue becoming perfect in the eyes of God? To follow his will at every moment. This is again an active form, never reaching the goal yet always moving towards it.

Land of the Faith,
the land symbolizes
the landscape of Faith in our hearts,
and it is a reminder
of the need to cultivate the Faith,
to be stewardships
of the Faith in this sense,
to make it flourish in our lives.

The main reason to bring the special needs children to our farm was to try to bring my husband’s job to the fore, he has been teaching in the special ed. department of public school for the last years, and I thought that instead of bringing my own ideas to this new project, I would build up my husband’s skills and talents in the farm. Alas, I do not know if it will work, since he has his own different ideas about the farm as well!!!!

I have been in a continual struggle with this relationship, since the beginning when we met:

“I was talking to God, while listening to my usual Friday night classical music concert in Mallorca, Spain, and finally admitted to God that I had learnt the lesson He was teaching me for the last couple of years. I really did not need any boyfriend to be happy, or anybody to love or be loved by, BUT, I said to God, if you want me to share my life with someone else, just let me know. Well, two seats by my side, there was this guy, who was trying to catch my attention during the whole concert, he finally did start a conversation with me and has been my husband since one week after that day. At first I did not understand, why God sent him to me? 15 years older, looking rather shabby, bold, and from a far-away country….as years went by, some of the reasons were understood, he grew long beautiful blond hair right away, which was a nice surprise!"

Anyway, what I wanted to mean is that many times the relationships that are more difficult are the closer ones, and if you had read my diaries you would see that my two longings in life were God and children. So when God decided to stop giving us children my heart started to ache, how am I suppose to continue in this covenant of marriage? Am I now to turn around and go to find Vocations? As my service to others increased also my disservice to my husband augmented, I could see that also in many others, where the most servicial and kind hearted persons, lived a rather strenuous life at home or were alone. Why is this so? Teachers and ministers will tell you how difficult it is to give in both places, and the tension many times breaks the relationships in the inner courtyard.

It seems so much easy to love the ones that are farther away than your own husband, at least for some of us, and I could see why God had chosen marriage for my life, to stretch my heart in love for God as I struggle to love my husband. Maybe for others God has chosen the ministry life, or any other task, but at the end the ultimate result should be an increase of Love for God. Saint Therese “saw” Christ in every human being, married women are to “see” Christ in their husbands at every moment. Husbands are built up by our admiration of their qualities, they strive to the best we see in them, how we can maintain this admiration? Last week an Amish farmer tilled the soil in our land, and kept my children in the cart while working, it all seemed so right, except it was not my husband tilling the soil! I think when husbands work at home, especially in the land, wifes are more easily prompted to be grateful for their work, to admire them. On the other hand I could remind myself of the great job that my husband is doing by providing for the family, and facing the sometimes cold-cruel world of society for long hours a day.

This Easter time is eye opening for me, as to discern how am I receiving the destiny that God has chosen, am I freely saying yes, am I freely saying no, or am I just unconscious of it, resenting my life?

Today’s Gospel talks about Jesus being the Shepherd of Souls, and I am reminded of the Psalm that has turned into a famous song:

Shepherd me Oh God,

Beyond my wants,

Beyond my fears

From death unto life.

The Lord is my shepherd

I shall not be in want

He lead me to green pastures,

He restores my soul.

May we have the grace to wrestle pride and despair away from our lives continually, and come to rest on Christ and the destiny that comes towards us at every moment.

Story for Easter: The Selfish Giant, Oscar Wilde

Songs for Easter: Love is come again

Projects

We have had a lot of accomplished projects in the last few weeks.

Last year by this time we were publishing my husband's novel: The Missing Spoke, which goes very weel with the theme of Easter and the redemption not from suffering but redemption to suffering, from a christian view. This year we are in the last steps of proof reading a new book, another auto biography, this time of a pastor that lived in the midwest for a while but now is residing in Sweden: A sword in the Wilderness. This book goes well with the theme of Pentecost, as is a witness of the strength of the Holy Spirit through the lives of men.



While we are also establishing the rhythms in our new farm, getting to know our neighbors and the land, we are also looking ahead for the next publishing book, if you have an interesting biography, or you ever wanted to publish your memoires, give us a script, perhaps yours can be the next year publishing project!

The Farm is buzzing with life, we have horses and cows in the pasture fields and the gardens are ready to be tilled. Soon we will open the planting season with potatoes on 24th April, and we are digging strawberry plants for the new beds. Come pick up some if you want to!

Helpmaid

We are finally moving, officially on Saturday. Meanwhile there has been a lot of things coming up, and one of them is about the purpose of the farm. We are leaning towards naming the farm after the archangel Raphael, to ask for his protection and healing medecine. We are envisioning the land that God is giving us to be a place where souls can be strenghtened in God, where families can be lead to Jesus Christ, where the Holy Spirit is directing.

The old barn will house a cow, steer, sheep and chickens in the winter. the newer barn used to be raising 3.000 organic chicken, we want to stay away from such big farm production, yet we do not know what to do with the building.

For a while in our lifes as married people, I tried working in different things, sometimes out of the home, but mostly in the home. Now that this project of the farm  is coming up, I am again asking, what is the purpose of the marriage, and how can we be working together instead of separate and in a sanctifying way? For me the response has come suddenly, unexpected, and has caught me by surprise: Instead of trying to do what i think is best, I need to look up to my husband's strenghts and build him up, be his helpmaid.

Inside of the old barn.

So, he has been working with special needs children in the public school system, and he has a talent for it, he can relate to them in  special way, non threatening at all, that makes the relationship grow and become a healing balm. Yet in the schools children are bound to four walls most of the time, do not have enough time outdoors doing meaningful work, they are continually entertained and have a void of purpose. In the farm, my husband could give them physical work, they could see they are needed, and the farm work could help strengthen their souls, in rhythmic discipline. We are looking into giving this opportunity for once a week during the school year, and also for week-long stays at the farm during summer months.

Prayers and songs before meals will help establish a rhythm and a reminder throughout the day of our dependance on God.

Almost all my farmer friends say that is too difficult to live off of the farm, and that a second income is needed, and just a 10% of the big farms are making money. Yet, as a newcomer of stewarding the land I am full of hope, I trust that God is giving this opportunity to many families like us, to work and pray together, to raise families in His name, to be a witness to the world, and to help as many as we can to come closer to the Faith. Our priest sent us a link yesterday about the TLM and the movement around it, we are privileged that God put us in a place where the devotion for God and His Son is stronger than the currents of the world. may I be a helpmaid for His Plans.

http://wdtprs.com/blog/2012/03/new-voris-video-addresses-where-the-action-is-in-catholic-communities/#comments